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Therapy Tips & Tricks

Being Kind to Yourself

Do you find yourself stretched and unable to meet your own needs? So many of us find we have competing priorities – work, home, partners, friends, pets can all take up valuable time and energy. So much so, that I am frequently told by clients that they are never able to find time for themselves.  The  issue here is that, if we always put others needs first, it can be a real drain of our energy. If we’re running on empty then we have nothing else to offer others and this is when we start to see Burnout. It’s vital therefore that we don’t rely on holidays to recharge our batteries but instead build self care into our daily routines so it becomes a positive habit.  Don’t think of looking after your own needs as being selfish – consider it a priority & an investment in you. The better you feel in yourself then the more others will benefit too!

Self care can take so many forms – it doesn’t have to be time consuming or expensive. It could be taking a bath, going for a swim, playing tennis, a trip to the cinema, baking, writing a journal, going for a dog walk or my personal favourite is to be snuggled up with a good book! There are a zillion other things you could be doing but the key is to find something that enables you to mentally switch off from everyday stuff and be totally absorbed in something you love. Remember when you were a child and would spend hours playing Lego or building a camp – time would just fly by because you were lost in your world. This kind of escapism isn’t purely for children – us adults can reap benefits too.

Start treating yourself as you would your best friend. It never ceases to amaze me that when things get tough we are so hard on ourselves – when our friends are struggling we offer them kind words, our support and maybe a small gift. Start being kind to yourself and ask yourself how you would treat your friend in a similar situation.

Learning to ‘Say No’ can be a tricky one if you are a people pleaser and always agreeing to everyone else’s wishes and demands. It can however make a monumental difference in our lives, free up time, help us to refocus our priorities and gain a little balance in our lives. 

Surround yourself with people who make you feel positive – You know the friends that make you feel good about yourself and those perhaps who feel harder work. This doesn’t mean drop the latter friends but make sure that you have a good balance and spend plenty of time with those who recharge your batteries.

Surround yourself with pleasurable & comforting things – good food, perfume or aftershave, candles, fresh flowers can all bring a smile to anyone’s face. Think about the use of colour – both within your home and what you wear. 

Introduce something positive in to in to your life on a daily basis – make it a habit to last a lifetime and most of all ENJOY!!

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Tips & Tricks

New Year…New Start!!??

Happy New Year!!

Did you start the new year with renewed vigour and on a positive footing – are you now struggling to keep focused and motivated? If so, this is a familiar story and one I hear often!

Over the festive season, taking time away from our normal routine can help us to evaluate and see things differently. Many of us set off well with our New Years Resolutions – but did you set too many? It’s so tempting to aim to Declutter, Lose Weight, Get Fit, Sort Finances and perhaps even Start A Business or Change A Job or Career. My suggestion to you is that if you didn’t manage to tackle all of these last year then why is January going to be any different?

Rename it – Dont call it your New Year Resolution – call it your Goal or Objective – this is helping you to look forward – to make it happen now and in the future

Bite Size Chunks  – Firstly don’t try to eat the elephant whole! Break your goals down so they are more manageable – focus on 1 or maybe 2 that are going to make the biggest difference or are most important to you. Next set mini targets to achieve this goal over a period of time eg a a target for week, 1, month 1 month 3, month 6 – whatever is appropriate for your goal 

Prioritise Time – I know this is obvious but, believe me, is frequently overlooked – make a date and time in your diary or on your calendar if you are going to make this one happen  

Practise, Practise, Practise – Whatever the change you want, you need to make it become a regular habit. Creating new habits is always tricky but if we do it regularly and often enough then it will become a new habit

Share Your Goal – talk about what it is you are going to achieve – be positive and own your goal – live it and breathe it to make it happen

Stay On Course – If you go off track, you have not ‘blown it’ – get back on track. We are only human and creating new habits is hard – don’t waste time beating yourself up, get back on track

And Finally…Enjoy!!! – Remember you have chosen to make this your goal – it’s something you clearly want to achieve, so enjoy and be proud of the process

Celebrate Success – This is important…find positive ways to celebrate success along the way

Good Luck!!! I wish you all the best in achieving your goal/s!!