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Month: February 2021

Categories
News & Updates

Coronavirus

Times are incredibly hard – we’ve entered a 2nd lockdown and are deprived of our normal day to day routine and social contact with our loved ones. I’m hearing on a daily basis the struggles of so many people – people unable to see their partners, elderly and vulnerable loved ones. People’s need for social contact is great – perhaps most importantly that element of human touch is missing – peoples need for a hug should not be under estimated. 

We are reminded constantly in the media to take care of ourselves, our loved ones and neighbours. But for some, the loneliness of their own company is so great. So what can we do for our own self care and that of others?

Keeping ourselves busy is vital – keeping the body moving and the mind active should be a number one priority for us all along with regular healthy meals. Food has such an impact on how we physically and emotionally feel – it is too tempting to reach for the snacks and the processed meals – they are a quick fix in the moment but we pay in the long run. Regular contact with others – if you live in a part of the country where some social face to face contact is allowed then make the most of it, take walks in the park, countryside or beach depending on where you live and use video and telephone to keep in contact with those who aren’t able to meet with you.


I don’t claim to have all the answers but the following activities may inspire you to do something different:

-Write a letter to someone who you can’t visit: a handwritten letter is a real comfort to receive

-Learn a language: there are free online sites such as Duolingo that are fun 

-Send flowers to others and buy them for your home

-Light candles at home (you know – those ones that have been sitting around for ages!)

-Start decluttereing that cupboard, sock drawer or garage – it can be very therapeutic once you start

-Do a jigsaw

-Get the board games out that only usually are dusted off at Christmas

-Try baking a new recipe

-Call someone who you havent spoken to in ages

-Challenge yourself with sit ups or press ups, increasing the amount daily 

-Take long leisurely walks: daylight is good for keeping our brains healthy

-Do some crosswords or Sudoku

 

Whatever you do – stay safe and well and dont forget to reach out to others and if things get really tough call your GP or the Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, 7 days each week 365 days/year.


The Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123

Categories
Therapy

Taking Control of Your Life

Do you find yourself living according to other people? Are you the type of person who struggles to say “no”.  So whose life is this anyway? Think about it for a moment – you are the expert in your life and you are the best person to know what it is you want and need. Sometimes it can be really difficult to change our ways of ‘doing’ or ‘being’ because of how others perceive us or what they expect from us. 

Coaching can really help us to unwrite all those messages that we’ve taken on over the years and help us to find a new way to conduct ourselves or to live our life – these changes can be as small or as big as you need them to be – as the message suggests ‘put yourself in the driving seat – its your car after all’.

Categories
Therapy Tips & Tricks

Being Kind to Yourself

Do you find yourself stretched and unable to meet your own needs? So many of us find we have competing priorities – work, home, partners, friends, pets can all take up valuable time and energy. So much so, that I am frequently told by clients that they are never able to find time for themselves.  The  issue here is that, if we always put others needs first, it can be a real drain of our energy. If we’re running on empty then we have nothing else to offer others and this is when we start to see Burnout. It’s vital therefore that we don’t rely on holidays to recharge our batteries but instead build self care into our daily routines so it becomes a positive habit.  Don’t think of looking after your own needs as being selfish – consider it a priority & an investment in you. The better you feel in yourself then the more others will benefit too!

Self care can take so many forms – it doesn’t have to be time consuming or expensive. It could be taking a bath, going for a swim, playing tennis, a trip to the cinema, baking, writing a journal, going for a dog walk or my personal favourite is to be snuggled up with a good book! There are a zillion other things you could be doing but the key is to find something that enables you to mentally switch off from everyday stuff and be totally absorbed in something you love. Remember when you were a child and would spend hours playing Lego or building a camp – time would just fly by because you were lost in your world. This kind of escapism isn’t purely for children – us adults can reap benefits too.

Start treating yourself as you would your best friend. It never ceases to amaze me that when things get tough we are so hard on ourselves – when our friends are struggling we offer them kind words, our support and maybe a small gift. Start being kind to yourself and ask yourself how you would treat your friend in a similar situation.

Learning to ‘Say No’ can be a tricky one if you are a people pleaser and always agreeing to everyone else’s wishes and demands. It can however make a monumental difference in our lives, free up time, help us to refocus our priorities and gain a little balance in our lives. 

Surround yourself with people who make you feel positive – You know the friends that make you feel good about yourself and those perhaps who feel harder work. This doesn’t mean drop the latter friends but make sure that you have a good balance and spend plenty of time with those who recharge your batteries.

Surround yourself with pleasurable & comforting things – good food, perfume or aftershave, candles, fresh flowers can all bring a smile to anyone’s face. Think about the use of colour – both within your home and what you wear. 

Introduce something positive in to in to your life on a daily basis – make it a habit to last a lifetime and most of all ENJOY!!

Categories
Tips & Tricks

New Year…New Start!!??

Happy New Year!!

Did you start the new year with renewed vigour and on a positive footing – are you now struggling to keep focused and motivated? If so, this is a familiar story and one I hear often!

Over the festive season, taking time away from our normal routine can help us to evaluate and see things differently. Many of us set off well with our New Years Resolutions – but did you set too many? It’s so tempting to aim to Declutter, Lose Weight, Get Fit, Sort Finances and perhaps even Start A Business or Change A Job or Career. My suggestion to you is that if you didn’t manage to tackle all of these last year then why is January going to be any different?

Rename it – Dont call it your New Year Resolution – call it your Goal or Objective – this is helping you to look forward – to make it happen now and in the future

Bite Size Chunks  – Firstly don’t try to eat the elephant whole! Break your goals down so they are more manageable – focus on 1 or maybe 2 that are going to make the biggest difference or are most important to you. Next set mini targets to achieve this goal over a period of time eg a a target for week, 1, month 1 month 3, month 6 – whatever is appropriate for your goal 

Prioritise Time – I know this is obvious but, believe me, is frequently overlooked – make a date and time in your diary or on your calendar if you are going to make this one happen  

Practise, Practise, Practise – Whatever the change you want, you need to make it become a regular habit. Creating new habits is always tricky but if we do it regularly and often enough then it will become a new habit

Share Your Goal – talk about what it is you are going to achieve – be positive and own your goal – live it and breathe it to make it happen

Stay On Course – If you go off track, you have not ‘blown it’ – get back on track. We are only human and creating new habits is hard – don’t waste time beating yourself up, get back on track

And Finally…Enjoy!!! – Remember you have chosen to make this your goal – it’s something you clearly want to achieve, so enjoy and be proud of the process

Celebrate Success – This is important…find positive ways to celebrate success along the way

Good Luck!!! I wish you all the best in achieving your goal/s!!

Categories
Therapy

How To Find The Right Therapist For You

Therapy is a term used to describe Counselling, Psychotherapy & Coaching and therapists are trained to work with a wide range of issues such as bereavement, confidence, anxiety, depression, relationship issues & trauma to name but a few. Short term therapy may be available via your GP, your employer if they operate an EAP scheme(Employee Assistance), or your school/ college so it is worth enquiring what is avaialble to you. However you may decide that you want to opt to see a therapist privately – there are several benefits to this including:
1) You can choose your therapist
2) You can determine for yourself how many sessions you would like
3) You may have more flexibility re timings, frequency of appointments

The following may help you determine how to go about finding a private therapist:

1. Experience of Therapist – I would suggest looking for someone who is Accredited with BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapists) – this will ensure they have considerable post qualifying years experience.  Your Therapist should have a minimum of Diploma level training with a reputable training institute. Search online at  www.bacp.co.uk

2. Location – It is important to consider where and when you are available for counselling. It’s important to make time & space for the sessions so you are not rushing to pack it in.  Sessions on the way to work might not be ideal if you are likely to feel emotional as a result. On the other hand, many of my clients come from a fair distance and have revealed that they enjoy the journey time both to and from their sessions as it gives them to time to reflect. Some therapists now work online and you may feel this offers a better solution for you. Consider too, where the therapist is based – they may work from home or from an office and check whether they have available parking.

3) Fees – Fees can vary but are usually around £40-£65 per 50 minute session. Some counsellors such as myself work from home and as this offers a cost saving to me I am able to offer my rates far more competitively and I offer a full 60 minute hour. If funding private therapy is outside of your affordability, please search for your closest Counselling Services who may provide a subsidised service which is often charged at a rate that you can afford.

4) Types of Therapy – There are many types of therapy all seeking to support you with your issue but maybe taking a slightly different approach. Having searched the BACP website, I suggest having a good look at individaul therapist’s websites to read about their particular approach to see if it might suit you.

4) Initial Session  – An initial session (often called an Assessment Session) will allow you to meet with the therapist to decide whether they are a good fit. Personally, I think it is absolutely vital that you feel comfortable working with them – in order to get the most out of therapy you need to feel confident and trust in your therapist. If the therapist seems a good fit, they will ask you to sign a contract that lays out the terms of your relationship together and further sessions can be agreed. If you feel unsure about the therapist, you are under no obligation to book another appointment and can book to see someone else.